❤ Using physical pain to cure emotional pain is the SEX:D!

❤Tuesday, February 02, 2010

I should be uploading photos soon but I'm as hell as darn lazy to do so! In class & it's 6P right now. I'm freaking 50kg fat right now & it sucks. I want my 43kg back :( Am going on a diet now! Anyway, not meeting Pamela today cause she's sick :( Get well soon babe:D

So we're gonna get our nails done probably, tmr or Thursday! & if tmr or Thursday I'm free, I'll be out with Gary after school to shop for his CNY clothes:D & for friday... I'm not sure yet. I know I'm forgetting something but I can't remember what!

Anyway, I'm gonna head home now. Needa clear those unwanted stuff in my room. blog some other day:D Ciaos:)

3:20 PM.

❤Monday, February 01, 2010

I'm back from my short mundane yet fun trip. Got my passport renewed, played with dad's doggies & eating & sleeping all day during the weekends.
This weekend would probably be jam packed with activities like going to the Zoo with Gary & probably playing pool with PeiShan too.

Tmr, I'm probably gonna get my nails done with Pamela after school.
& This week would be the last week of school then next week UT3 would be starting.
Then vacation would start:D

Tag reply to Passer-by!
Passer-by: Lol. Stop flirting around please

. it makes people thinks that your a slut. dun act one ahlian, if you ever dare to tio taiji, thn have the guards to solve it yourself, always depend on others, wtf ? unless + wanna act lian. fuck off please

& to Passer-by: What is it to you that I'm acting like a slut and flirting around and having people help me settle my problems gotta do with you? Don't like me then say it to my face. It's no use being an anonymous spammer who doesn't love his or her name at all. & What I'm doing has got nothing to do with you at all. What guards to solve it myself? Shouldn't it be GUTS instead of GUARDS?! If you're saying I'm acting lian then why don't you try me? Put your name & contacts down & I'll sure to contact you back MYSELF! & when have I ever tio taiji & not solve it myself? Who have I depended on? & please, get your facts right can! If I dare start something, I dare end something, you saw this!!! I wrote this twice or thrice already!

You should be the one to fuck off from here. GET A LIFE PLEASE! I don't need your lame yet trying-to-be malicious comments hurting my feelings anyway! Cause get this in your head, nothing you say can hurt me at all. Don't know me that well then stop trying to act all jealousy please! Are you jealous that I have people around me to help me settle my problems and you don't, are you jealous that I have damn loads of people to flirt with and you don't? If you are then why don't you take a min of my life and try to see how great it would be? If you think my life would be so gratifying wonderful to live in then I'll more then willing to trade it with you cause you are so wrong!

& if you're referring to my problems with some particular pussy in the previous post then you should get the full story first before commenting on anything! We didn't even like settle anything & that pussy has no guts, just like you to even talk things out & she's just a plurk warrior & will forever be one to me. So please STATE YOUR MAGNIFICENT & YET UNBELIEVABLY GROTESQUE NAME&CONTACT! TYVM:D

10:16 PM.

❤Wednesday, January 27, 2010

I know I'm suppose to update on nearly everything. But I'll hell as lazy as a pig to do so right now. Been hanging out with Gary&Winson these days. Not forgetting Pris & Bingfu, Samuel & Sky the other day.

This friday night I'll be off to Malaysia again & will probably be back on Monday, itself. So I'll be skipping bio lesson & next week I'll be meeting Pamela to get our nails done. Yay, I'll have pretty nails again. Madly excited for the nail session soon. Whoots! Can't wait.

I'm having horrendous grades and gpa this sem & I'll probably retain year one next year unless I'm freaking lucky that my gpa just hit 2 so I won't have to worry about retaining but I doubt I'll be that lucky since my daily grades have been Fs since the start of term.

UT3 is up in 2 weeks time. & I haven't even started to study which I doubt I will even study.
Oh & Lady red isn't here yet & it's 4 more days to end of January. Mad worried cause idk what's wrong with me. Could it be the ciggs or cause I'm too stress or is it cause of my diet?? How how?! Sighhh~~~

Been catching movies & slacking & playing bball these past weeks with Gary & Money has been fly fly fly away from me by the time the day reach Wednesday. & I'm always short of cash& ciggs by Tuesday & Winson dear is in camp so I can't get cash from him :( & I won't be able to meet him until next next week. That stupid kubird forget pass me. *Mad pissed can!!!*

Only with 10 bucks for the rest of the week and & I'm down to 2 sticks for this week which won't even last to end of the day. It'll probably tahan until end of school hours.

Anyway, going off now. Break time. Mix rice:DDD Ciaos!

The piercing ache still hurts ever since he left.
Shedding tears as always hurts even more.
Trying my best to stable everything sucks.
I wish to drop dead w/o feeling any pain.
I wish to disappear from here.
I keep saying I want to do well in studies now.
But I'm not even putting any effort for anything.
Wasting my life and rotting away:(

11:21 AM.

❤Saturday, January 16, 2010

Happy one month!!!

It's only been a month to date since we broke up.
& I'm still hurting.

Well, Happy One Month of single-hood to me:D

Falling sick and having high fever now just made things worst.
Chest hurts like hell these few days. Looks like it's due to the cigarettes.
Being kept at home and sleeping all day really made me miss him a hell loads more.
If this was how things should be from the start, I rather it be like this all the time.

Screwing myself all over and making them hate me was what I wanted.
& I hate myself for that.

Anyway, I have been spending my time with different groups of friends&smoking ever since school started.
Next week, will be meeting Pamela to look for jobs probably @ boat quay & a few other activities too.
I don't know how much more I can take but I'll do my best.

&&& I hate being screwed over. Ciaos!

Ps: I know I still owe an update on my trip but I'm lazy to do so now.

Being screwed over once twice is enough!
Never the third time anymore.
If it really happen again I should just jump down & die.

Anyway, I'm feeling super sadistic right now.
The temptation of feeling&loving pain is back.
Cutting myself & wearing heels all day is LOVE right now!!!

10:02 AM.

❤Monday, January 04, 2010

Just before some random human who wishes I was dead says I died.
I want to say
I'M BACK!!!!!!!!
LOL, I know.

It's first day of school & I'm home!
Doing up a post for my trip when I'm free or when I'm not lazy.
I love being back home but I also hate being back home right now.
Cause it's seriously hurting me the most right now.
I can't explain it but it hurts like hell right now.

Somehow,
I wish I won't ever come back.
I wish I would just disappear into thin air.
& I wish, all these feelings would just go away.

& before I go,
I would like to wish everyone A HAPPY BELATED NEW YEAR!!!

ps: I have got ugly hair now & I'm fat :(

1:15 PM.

❤Sunday, December 27, 2009

If letting I can really attain true happiness,
then I would be glad to let go.
But if it's hurting like hell,
holding on would never be happy either.

Neither emotions nor actions were simple to understand.
Words could be played around.
But actions always shows all tales.
What's gone will forever be gone.
Be gone for good!
Don't ever turn back or come back.
I want to be happy right now.
I want to forget everything too.

I need to find the strength to do everything alone.
Struggling was never my middle name.
Is either this or that!
No more fickle-mindedness or softhearted-ness in me anymore!!!
So what if I'm making a big joke out of myself as long as I feel happy.
I don't mind anything.

Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!
Cheer up!!!

6:25 PM.

❤

{Leaving the old me for a new life& a new me}
This would probably be my last post before I go for a week of fun&relaxation in Malaysia. Gonna hold an all niter tonight cause bus trip tomorrow is in the morning, 8.30AM! Which is obviously if I sleep tonight I can't wake up on time & I will probably miss the god damn bus.

Anyway, I've just packed my luggage! Brought hell loads of clothes, 2 pair of heels & a pair of flats over. Now what's left to pack is my daily necessity & my makeups which I doubt it would even be of use when I'm there! Before I leave, I'll be sending one last tweet&text my love ones, you know who you are right:D

I'll be coming back with a new look & obviously a new me, a happier me too & by the time I'm back I would have already forgotten everything about him&him&her I would be like how I use to be. Happy-go-lucky but also be even more of a mean bitch then before! So 3 cheers to me kay (:

The people I would be missing while I'm there!
Angelia Sweets!

Nadzir, Amalyna, Shima & Ravi(whom is not in the picture!)

& also obviously loads of other precious dearies too like those who have been with me in my heart all these time like
Just darn lazy to upload more pictures!
Fara,
EiChien,
Vanessa,
Bingfu,
Samuel,
Sky,
HanXiang,
Chanel,
Pris& Moon.

Decided not to meet Christian Faci today, cause of the packing&stuff. Probably meeting Moon&the girls tonight! Feels like going Bugis later to buy some last min stuff but I'm a lil lazy :P Everything is crap right now cause I gotta rush with the cleaning and packing and everything at home. Still am wondering if I should bring more clothes to change. Brought all my fav clothes&heels there.

Now what I'm left to do is clean the house. & get him out of my mind(which seems madly impossible now cause I'm still missing him like fuck!) Argh! Me & my contradictions again. So sick & tired of them too. When I'm back I gotta stop with all these missing him crap. After I'm back & if I say I still miss him like fuck someone must really slap me hard! I have to fucking learn my lesson & really forget him. Argh~~~ *stabbing my bloody self*

I shouldn't still be sitting in front of my lappy right now but I'm still blogging& typing crap so on and so forth.

Rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant rant !!! LOL

Don't miss me too much kay! Alright, gotta go now! Back to packing:D & About 16 hours more to my trip! Ciaos~

2:05 PM.